The second in a series of Learning Letters to the congregation of the First Unitarian Church of Hamilton from Rev. Victoria Ingram. See the Next Steps section at the end of this letter for details about an important opportunity to engage in conversation and learning together.
The Need for Change Continues
One of the most important aspects of community and encouraging engagement is the sense of relevance people experience when they participate. Does this community bring something to my life that I can’t get anywhere else? Am I comfortable being myself with these people? Can I contribute from my authentic self? Am I accepted and appreciated for my unique talents and skills, for who I am as a person? Do I feel that I am understood, respected, and embraced in this community?
When people approach a community, whether they are conscious of these questions or not, they are on the lookout for a sense that they are seen, acknowledged, embraced, and respected in a way that they experience as genuine, open-hearted, and intentional.
Feedback from Black, Indigenous, and People of Colour who visit Unitarian Universalist congregations often expresses their disappointment with how they are welcomed – or rather not welcomed – wholeheartedly into our churches. Their experience of our churches is that our communities of faith do not seem relevant to their needs, their life experience, or their sense of inclusion and being seen.
Diversity brings many gifts – including the richness of different experience and knowledge that helps us see issues and problems in new ways, access to variety in the arts, music, literature, and life ways of different cultures, and a deeper understanding of the human experience. If we want to enjoy the many benefits of diversity and the variety of the people in our neighbourhoods and cities, UU needs to change its “traditional” culture to become more relevant to people who are not “typical” in UU congregation – our demographics are predominantly white, well-educated, middle class or upper-middle-class, urban, and professional or retired professional.
Again, there’s nothing wrong with that, EXCEPT a highly homogenized demographic leads to a limited worldview that doesn’t reflect the broader community, limits our relevance and attraction for those who don’t share that worldview, and leads us to be stuck in a bubble of like-mindedness. If we are committed to building beloved community, we need to expand our engagement with the larger community beyond our walls, learn to communicate and interact effectively with others who share our values and goals, and make ourselves useful in a world that needs engaged communities to help solve its problems.
Uncovering the Unknown Bias
As I noted in the last Learning Letter, we live in a world dominated by white supremacy and privilege. Sometimes, because of our constant immersion in this environment, we aren’t even aware of its existence. So, our first course of action is to acknowledge that a system of oppression and inequality has existed for thousands of years, that there are ways all of us have been complicit in perpetuating that system, and that we have the personal power to make changes in that system and address historical inequities.
When we explore the many avenues open to us for learning about the history and impact of white supremacy, we move from being clueless to being aware, from ignorance to acknowledgment, and from unconscious action to considered intentions and impacts. So, continue to explore the many resources available for opening your awareness to new insight and understanding. Canada is not the beacon of tolerance we may wish to believe.
As We Learn, We Change our Behavior
As we reflect on our learning and exploration, we may identify biases, assumptions, blind-spots, and behaviors that we would like to change to move us from racism to being anti-racist. In the words of Beverly Daniel Tatum, to work for a just society, “requires two tasks: the abandonment of individual racism, and the recognition of and opposition to institutional and cultural racism.”
Beginning to integrate new understanding and learning is exhilarating, and it can also be confusing and confounding. Confronting things we have accepted as “truth” for the whole of our lives leaves a vacant space in our understanding that must be filled with a new and more enlightened truth based in the actual experience and perspective of others, especially those who have experienced life differently than we have.
Of course, it’s not a linear path. When we seek to implement and practice new behaviors we inevitably make missteps. Our intent may be great and noble, but there are times when our impact won’t be what we hope for. No one (except, perhaps, yourself) expects you to be perfect. There are times when we will feel that we are “making progress” toward being an anti-racist activist, only to get feedback that something we have said or done has been experienced as patronizing or condescending.
Make your efforts from your good intent. Try. If it doesn’t go quite the way you’d hoped, be prepared to say “I’m sorry” or ask “What can I do better?” It’s okay to let people know that you are trying to learn, to be a better person, to act in ways that are more expansive, to stretch your mind and heart in new ways. It takes a good bit of humility to change your life, your mind, and your behaviors after a lifetime of unconscious privilege. Keep working on it.
The Spectre of Carelessness and Cowardice
Choosing NOT to change our perspectives and behaviors comes from two places – cowardice or carelessness. We just don’t care enough about other people, or we are just too scared to make even a small effort to change, that we remain entrenched in our old ways of being. Frankly, these are not UU values. We are a people who pride ourselves on being vocal and committed proponents of justice and equity. We value learning and incorporating that learning into our lives. We espouse the worth and dignity of every individual, and seek to model that in all of our interactions.
We simply are not a cowardly or careless people. So, while we might have moments of fear or trepidation, our faith supports us in taking the risk, confronting our fears, and calming our doubts in the faith that what we do as individuals has an impact on the world and the lives of those around us. We believe we can make a difference, and so we choose to do those things that help prepare and support us in making a difference in the ways that we can.
And, that’s where our unique demographic as a faith community can serve us. We inherently have power as those same white people who are well-educated, articulate, and privileged with a voice in our society. We can use our knowledge, our influence, and our voice for justice to impact systems of oppression locally, nationally, and globally.
RESOURCES:
One of our first steps toward becoming more anti-racist is to EDUCATE ourselves so that we become more aware of how what we say and do potentially impacts others.
Me and White Supremacy: Combat Racism, Change the World, and Become a Good Ancestor By Layla F. Saad
A New York Times bestseller, this eye opening book challenges white people to take action and dismantle the privilege within themselves, to stop (often unconsciously) inflicting damage on people of colour, and in turn, help other white people to do better, too.
So You Want to Talk About Race By Ijeoma Oluo
This book explores the complex reality of today’s racial landscape – from white privilege and police brutality to systemic discrimination and the Black Lives Matter movement. It offers straightforward clarity about what readers need to contribute to the dismantling of the racial divide.
Policing Black Lives: State Violence in Canada from Slavery to the Present By Robyn Maynard
Going behind Canada’s veneer of multiculturalism and tolerance, this traces the violent realities of anti-blackness from slave ships to modern times. This is a broad review of four hundred years of state-sanctioned surveillance, criminalization and punishment of Black lives in Canada.
The Canadian Encyclopedia, Black History in Canada
This website offers a variety of resources about the history of Black people in Canada, including a timeline of historically significant moments in Canadian history related to the Black community.
Dismantling Racism Web Workbook
This resource-dense website offers access to their workbook used in their two-day Dismantling Racism workshops. It’s full of insight, questions for reflection, and information.
31 Resources That Will Help You Become a Better White Ally
It takes education and action to grow as a white ally. This article from SELF magazine links to a broad spectrum of resources for enhancing your understanding and skill as a white ally.
Next Steps
Starting in February, Tim Versteeg and I will facilitate a series of sessions on Widening the Circle, a UUA study guide that examines the ways our UU culture and norms limit our ability to truly be a welcoming and affirming place for BIPOC, Two Spirit and LGBTQI+, and other marginalized people. This workshop series is open to anyone in the congregation. I hope you will join us for these important conversations. Contact either Tim or myself to register.
With love, Rev. Victoria