The sixth in a series of Learning Letters to the congregation of The First Unitarian Church of Hamilton from Rev. Victoria Ingram
This is the last learning letters I will be sharing with you. Their purpose has been to spark reflection and conversation about the actions we must take and the responsibilities we bear, as people who identify as white, to move our society toward our ideals of full representation and participation of all people with equality, understanding, respect, and affirmation. We have work to do to end oppression and racism. As we embrace change within ourselves, we must advocate for change in the systems and processes to create liberation, inclusion, and respect.
NO SIMPLE SOLUTIONS
As we contemplate the enormity of the goal of a world community free of oppression and devoid of white supremacy culture, the true challenge of our goal becomes obvious. Dismantling the systems and strategies of hundreds of years of power and pre-eminence will take many people demanding change for many lifetimes to achieve. And, there will be no simple way to easily make it all go away and change overnight.
That’s not meant to be discouraging! We must start somewhere, and we have made a start by beginning to confront our own lack of knowledge and awareness. We can learn and listen, and then start taking steps to change ourselves and influence those around us. We can step forward to challenge racist or exclusionary language or actions. We can educate and inform to broaden others’ understanding of societal issues. We can read and research the “hidden” history we didn’t learn about in school. We can choose to be allies and advocates, aligning ourselves with others who share our commitment to a free and just society. We can listen to and care about the stories of others who want or need to share their experience to heal the wounds of oppression, violence, repression, and persecution.
When a system has been in place and practiced as long as white supremacy culture, it becomes insidious and sometimes hard to discern. Actions that privilege some and disempower others have become the norm, and we don’t question the “rightness” of them anymore, even though they result in disparate impacts and unfavorable conditions for many people. We get lulled into thinking that it must be right because its the way we’ve always done it, thought about it, or experienced it. We become blind to what is actually happening all around us. We become complicit without ever really knowing that we have bought into the system. We become comfortable with our privileges and advantages and take them for granted.
COURAGE AND COMMITMENT
We can be sure there will be resistance to change as a part of this process. Some will not want to believe there is an issue or problem to begin with. Some will say it was only a problem in the past. Some won’t want to risk losing the advantages and privileges that they have. Some are too invested in holding on to their prejudices and points-of-view. Some will be frightened and scared. Some will urge caution about moving too fast or taking a risk. Some will just not care. All of these are not REAL reasons to keep oppressive systems in place, they are excuses for inaction and complacency.
Nothing that is coming to light in the news or in peoples’ stories, about Residential Schools or police use of force or Black Lives Matter, is new. It is just being unveiled – uncovered – shown – seen. What we are learning is about how systems of oppression have existed and been allowed to hold sway for hundreds of years. If we are seeing it and hearing it and not liking the fact that it continues to exist in our culture today, we are being called to action, to making sure that these practices do not live on to hurt more people, end more lives, limit more progress, or deny more humanity.
Those who are beginning to understand and engage systems of oppression need to delve deeply into their reserves of courage and commitment to influence – no – demand change. The Canadian Unitarian Council is facing this work head-on and starting with our own institutional history, values, and commitments. The 8th Principle calls on UUs to work to eliminate systems of oppression in ourselves and our institutions. It is good to start the work of “cleaning up” our own house, so to speak, before taking on larger societal systems. But, we must remember that change is needed at all levels.
When we ask what needs to be done within the institution of our faith, we start with an inquiry of where we see our actions our of alignment with our values. Is what we are doing, every day, every moment, a reflection of our deeply held values – that everyone has worth and dignity, for example? We often can point to instances where they do not match, although it may be that it is unconscious. That’s where we consider the differences between what we intended and our actual impact on the experience of others, especially people who do not share our culture, race, ethnicity, language, sexual orientation, and on and on. We need to engage in a practice of examining our culture and finding out the impact our actions are creating and work to make the necessary changes.
THE NATURE OF THE WORK
Our habits and accepted procedures hold us in place. The question is whether they are holding us captive or facilitating what it is we want to achieve and do. Therefore, a part of the work is examining our habits and procedures for the ways they privilege us and negatively impact the lives of others, for what helps us and what limits us.
Taking that moral inventory may lead to feelings of regret, grief, sadness, or loss. It will also point out to us that there is much that needs to be dismantled and broken down. Power seldom gives up easily – those in power are too invested in the status quo to want to voluntarily give up wealth, power, influence, and comfort. But old strategies do not solve old problems. We are not responsible for the actions and choices of our ancestors. We are accountable for our own actions and choices, for what we choose to do and what we choose to ignore.
Making changes in our lives will take sacrifice, risk, and extending ourselves in offer of repair and reconciliation. We will find ourselves facing our own fear and other emotions during these times of transformation. It can seem daunting, but we have the foundation of our faith to give us the ability to hold together through the pain. We have faith in the power of love, in the triumph of good, of the ability of the world to heal. We can use our faith to turn wounds into wisdom.
There is work to be done every day, because we are all not “there” yet – the world does not offer an equitable experience for all people. With that in mind, do what you can and need to, but take a rest when you need to. Don’t give up, just step aside for a bit and get your breath. Then, take up your work – our work – again, and do what you need to do – over and over again, to keep the moral arc of the world bending toward justice (in the words of Unitarian minister Theodore Parker – 1810 to 1860)
Another thing we must prepare ourselves for is weathering pushback, anger, disagreement, and being wrong. Ralph Waldo Emerson said: “Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted.” We must become aware of how white supremacy culture has shaped our definitions of what is “proper” or right behavior and what is not. We must learn that not all cultures and people accept that our “rules” are the best or only ones to live by. To stay in relationship and in the conversation, we must learn to be resilient, adaptable, and curious as opposed to righteous, stubborn, or insular.
Building relationships involves time, effort, sincerity, and humility. And, real change will only occur when we learn to step outside our white privilege and join with others in our communities to find innovative solutions that focus on the wisdom everyone brings to the table. I heard this from an Indigenous Elder, on the uncovering of children’s bodies at Residential Schools – “Oh, no. They’ll (white people) all be lining up to help us again. We need to do this (healing, remembering, grieving) for ourselves in our ways.” White culture focuses on what to do mentally and physically to address situations. Other cultures focus on what needs to be done emotionally and spiritually. Certainly, both have a place in the bigger picture. But there are times when we need to remember that we shouldn’t always be leading the parade, making decisions about what must happen in situations where we don’t have all the necessary information, perspectives, history, cultural wisdom, and tools.
We are all ancestors in the making. What do you want to leave as your legacy and message to the future? How do you want to show up in these times? What is your guiding light? How do you want to use your consciousness as a conduit for spirit – love – what lives inside your heart and soul?
These are questions posed by author Resmaa Menakem, in the book My Grandmother’s Hands. They are a good place to start thinking about what we each want to do to engage in the work of change and transformation.
Sometimes when I consider all that I know that I need to un-know, all that I learned that I need to un-learn, and all the blunders I will probably make along the way, I wish I could just stay in my comfortable niche and ignore the world’s problems. I believe that is a perfectly normal reaction, but I also believe and know that it is not the answer. My UU faith, my values, my soul and heart tell me that I must do more. That this time in history is an opportunity to get closer to a just and equitable world. What I believe I must do to live with any degree of integrity, which is an important part of my UU faith.
Let’s move to embrace the work of bending the arc of the moral universe toward justice.
Rev. Victoria
SOME OF MY FAVORITE PIECES OF WISDOM
From Andrew Young, regarding the Civil Rights work done with Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Most people, particularly most educated Americans, get uncomfortable when their emotions and their spirituality get the best of their intellect. But there are times when intellect can’t handle it.
The truly religious moments in our civil rights movement didn’t make any intellectual sense. Nobody in their right mind would do some of the things we did. But, we did it because we were caught up in a spirit.
James Baldwin –
Love takes off the masks we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.
Resmaa Menakem – author of My Grandmother’s Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies
We will not end white body supremacy – or any form of human evil – by trying to tear it to pieces. Instead, we can offer people better ways to belong, and better things to belong to. Instead of belonging to a race, we can belong to a culture. Each of us can also build our own capacity for genuine belonging.
Murray Sinclair –
Reconciling requires:
Awareness of the harm done
Acceptance of our role in it
Apology for your wrong
Action to correct the consequences
Action to change behavior, and
Respect, Respect, Respect
Bryan Stevenson – author of Just Mercy: A Story of Justice and Redemption
Each of us is more than the worst thing we have ever done.
Christopher Peterson, PhD –
In sum, at least in the moral domain, we are rarely as good as the best thing we’ve done, but neither are we as bad as the worst thing we’ve ever done.
Rev. Natalie Fennimore – UU Minister –
In these days of the Internet, people have checked you out (your church) before they showed up on Sunday. They have come with intention. They are more like you than not, except what their bodies look like. All of our UU stereotypes about values and such exist in other cultures, we just need to be able to see that in other bodies.
From an unknown source about the work of serving and helping others –
Show up, shut up, it’s not about you.